Infiltrating Canada to See Niagara Falls and Experience Tourist Traps

On August 14, we set out for Canada to see Niagara Falls on our way back to Richmond via the most circuitous route possible. Step one: cross into the evil empire to the north.


Step 2: Somehow find our way to Niagara Falls, Ontario using only Canada’s first-rate road system and current GPS technology. Unfortunately, the GPS didn’t work as well as we would have liked.


That’s right, GPS – we flew this leg of the journey in our special jet car from MASK.

As you can see from the image above, navigation was a bit trickier than we thought it would be due to the Garmin’s refusal to cooperate with Canada’s satellite system. We had to follow road signs like it was 1985 or something. Against all odds, we found our way to the falls.


The picture shows the small little barricade separating people from the falls. In this litigious age, I was surprised that there wasn’t anything more substantial to prevent a Superman II-level accident.

Disappointingly, nothing as exciting as that video happened, but, on the bright side, as you may have heard, the falls are amazing to see, especially at night.


While exploring the falls area and appreciating the beauty of the falls, we turned a corner to find this:


It’s a tourist trap!

I’m glad that our socialist neighbors to the north understand the capitalist-inspired awesomeness of a tourist trap. And what a tourist trap! It didn’t even fit with a Niagara Falls theme; stores and attractions were just randomly there in their tourist-trappy glory.


Remember that part in Dracula where Dracula went to a gigantic waterfall?

For McKenna, the tourist trap was a dream come true. She wanted to go on the SkyWheel that overlooked the dinosaur-themed miniature golf course.



Not pictured: this volcano erupts in a huge fireball. Just like Niagara Falls.

The night ended at the Rainforest Cafe with a sign of the apocalypse:

McKenna actually fell asleep in her stroller. The end is near.

McKenna actually fell asleep in her stroller. The end is near.

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