Weather Channel, You Are Full of Lies

Today was the first game of UVA’s football season, a game against BYU, and I was driving up there with Jason and Tara. Because game time temperatures were predicted to be in the nineties, UVA announced that they would take “emergency measures,” which mostly seemed to involve having  extra water to sell to the fans…

I Hate Not Being Noticed

Today a terrible thing happened to me when I was at a teacher inservice. My personhood was disregarded. The “automatic” faucet, pictured above, failed to recognize that I am a human being too. I put my hand near the sensor and… nothing. Not even a drip to validate my existence. Sink faucet, I am a…

What Manner of Celebration Is This?!

On August 2nd we celebrated Rita’s 60th birthday at Anne and Carl’s house. You know you’re celebrating a different type of birthday when: People sing “Happy Birthday” at super fast tempo, blending the lyrics into one giant word (Happybirthdaytoyouhappybirthdaytoyou…), in order to go do this: There are actual traffic cones to mark hazardous areas in…