Before heading to the Great Wolf Lodge, we went to Jamestown, the first permanent English settlement in the Americas, for some culture. Needless to say, the cultural improvement didn’t take.

While McKenna did find the stairs on the sailing ships fascinating, ultimately she identified the most interesting part of Jamestown:

The dirt. I’m sure you remember this from the history books: “John Smith announced to the men, ‘Abandon your search for gold, for, truly, we have in the earth of this place something far more valuable. Let us scoop up the dirt with our hands for shipment back to our king, James, the first of that name, so that he might wallow in its earthy goodness.'”

The kids grew so attached to the dirt that they assaulted to plants for violating the dirt of Jamestown: