Pennsylvania Turnpike

The service stations on the Pennsylvania Turnpike: You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. And white trash. It was at one service station that I saw the first rat tail worn by an American since 1986. Seriously. A rat tail. On an adult man. Even worse, we saw this t-shirt…

Packing

On Wednesday, Mark and Margo were leaving, so Anne began packing. She packed cereal, drinks, and attempted to pack the laundry detergent. The problem? The rest of us were staying for 2-3 more days! I tried to fix a bagel, and the paper plates were packed because you wouldn’t want to take a chance with…

Cold Water

The water was a bit chilly in Lake Michigan. In fact, it was so cold that adults usually stayed out of the water and most of the people in the water were children. Naturally, Laura and Gayle were in the water.Here you see those of us sensible enough to stay out of the frigid, icy…

S’Mores

We learned a valuable lesson cooking s’mores. Although marshmallows can catch on fire, when a marshmallow is placed on a semi-hot coal, it will not catch on fire. Instead, it will smolder and bubble in a very unhelpful way. This lesson was almost as valuable as the Destro lesson. Almost.

Balderdash

Lessons from Balderdash: – The movie plots should be one or two sentences. They should not involve characters named “Mr. Eats” and “Scotty Big.” Not ever. – Movies are not books. – “Association” does not start with an I. – Balderdash is a family game. Movie plots will not be from soft-core porn. – Any…

Holy Crap

After the shower, we drove to a cottage on Lake Michigan for the next phase of the vacation. The location was beautiful, the weather was nice…There was only one major problem: the freaking cliff of stairs we had to climb going to and from the beach. Seventy-one stairs. It was very relaxing other than the…

Bridal Shower

Saturday, July 14th was the Bridal shower. Many presents were received, including the dinnerware that Laura was so excited to receive that a picture of it has been the wallpaper on her laptop. Laura’s grandmother was thoughtful enough to give Laura a nightgown with a hole strategically placed to help her, um, pee.Best of all…

Ham Biscuit Confusion Continues

We went to Laura’s Aunt Ellen’s house for a visit. After watching Fourth of July videos in which Laura’s relatives had a rave disguised as “music videos,” Laura brought up the ham biscuit issue. There was immediate confusion, with Laura’s cousin thinking we said “Hand Basket.” Even worse, when Laura’s sister Gayle asked a coworker…